Dear Love Guru,
I have been on a dating drought! My ex and I broke up last summer and its next summer almost and I am still single. I have dated a few guys here and there, it didn’t work out, they have all moved on to new relationships, and I am still single. A large part of me likes being single, I like my time, my space, my freedom, but at the same time, it’s nice having one person you can count on for support. I certainly don’t want to go hunting for a man, but when everyone else is finding people and I am not, I have to wonder what I’m doing wrong? What’s a grade A single girl supposed to do to find a grade A single man in a world where most men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Miss Independent, VA
Dear Miss Independent,
My mama said….”you can’t hurry love, not you just have to wait, she said, love don’t come easyyy, it’s a game of give and take!” That song is calling your name, sistah!
Do not stress out about what other people are doing. The people around you will get into relationships, they will get out of relationships, they will get into relationships. No one works on the same clock and the relationships they are having, believe me, some of them will make you glad you are single!
Let me tell you a sad truth, the only person you can truly count on for 24/7 support is yourself (and if you’re lucky, your family). People, no matter how good their intentions, are going to most likely disappoint you at some point. Putting your happiness in another person’s hands can be a recipe for disaster.
If you want companionship, get a dog, spend more time with your best friends, make new friends.
Spend time on self development, make yourself the best you, mind, body, and spirit, and men will be drawn to it. You will have to figure out a filing system!
Your Love Guru
Getting into a Relationship Too Soon?
Dear Love Guru,
I got into a relationship my senior year of college. I met a wonderful guy and he treats me like a princess. The only problem would be is that sometimes I think I may have gotten into a serious relationship too quickly. I’m in the “real working world now” and cannot experience the single life with friends at work – I am also tempted sometimes to think about what else could be out there. You should know that this is my first ever serious relationship. I love my boyfriend very much, but sometimes I just wish I had met him a bit after college. Are these thoughts normal?
Tempted to Touch, TX
Dear Tempted to Touch,
It’s human nature to wonder how green that grass is on the other side. No matter what position you find yourself in love, you’re always going to wonder what your other options are. Especially when other people make those other options seem so appealing!
I’m not going to lie to you – being single after college is a lot of fun. You have money to burn on clothes, you can finally go to 21+ venues, and every guy is looking for a 22 year old. But having rocked out my early 20’s, I can tell you that the greatest thing I learned from those experiences is what I DON’T want in a man and how to appreciate a good guy.
Good men are hard to find, so if you have a man that treats you with respect, honesty, kindness, and admiration. Hold on to him, sistah! What more can a girl really ask for? If your man is not accomplishing all of the above, then maybe your wondering thoughts have a legitimate reason behind them.
Evaluate if your significant other is your best friend, could stand by you through the milestones of life, and had all the qualities that are most important to you. If he falls short on any of the above, then more reason for you to try some separation! But if you already hit gold, then no need to go through the garbage.
Your Love Guru