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Making Long Distance Relationships Work

Desis are early adopters of online dating. Due to our rigid dating criteria, including height, religion, spoken language, and degree, desis are expanding their dating pools and dating across state lines. The byproduct has been an influx of long distance relationships. The byproduct of long distance relationships has been demand for learning how to make these unnatural situations lead to healthy, happy relationships.

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 3 years. Through college, job searching, relocating even further away, and being in the professional world, I grew a meaningful and lasting relationship. So what’s the secret formula for making it work across the miles? Read on.

Set some ground rules
For example, how often you’ll see each other, how often you will talk, and how long you plan on being long distance. Every one has their own individual requirements on what they need to be happy in a long distance relationship. Make sure you and your significant other can commit to the same game plan. If you guys can’t compromise during the euphoria stage, believe me, you never will.

Have an end in sight
I am not saying that 3 months into the relationship, you should discuss when you’re going to relocate to be closer to each other. But once you have established the relationship has future, long term possibilities, you need to discuss how you guys will be together eventually. This is not breaking news, long distance relation-ships are a lot of sacrifice and work, so make sure you know what you’re working toward!

Have a life that is independent of each other
One of the biggest mistakes I see happening in long distance relationships is that the couples, especially the girls, wait until time spent together to live their lives. Life is too short to live for the future. Make sure that you have a world of activities going on when you are a part. This will come back to you positively in so many ways. First you will be less dependent in the relationship, guys want women who have their own passions and interests, and you won’t be compromising your own life.

Be romantic
Without the physical affection it is easy for long distance relationships to grow distant. It is so vital to make sure both of you feel emotionally fulfilled when you have to spend time apart. Daily, weekly, or monthly, do something special for each other depending on your personal style. Make a point to send cards on monthly anniversaries, write snail mail letters, or whatever else feels natural with your guy’s “Romeo factor.”

Communicate, communicate, communicate
This is true for any relationship but especially true for long distance relationships. You would be surprised how much mis-communication happens over email and even on the phone. In real life you can avoid it by dealing with conflicts in person, but in long distance you don’t have that luxury. You will see that most of your fights are based in miscommunication so think before you speak, always listen first, and limit any conversation when angry. It’s OK to leave a conversation for an hour or two, or even until the end of the day. Due to the nature of human emotions you will never properly solve a problem under the influence of anger.

Trust each other
This is easier said than done. There will be times you can’t get your guy or girl on the phone, when other people make comments about your partner’s faithfulness, and/or when you feel insecure about your partner being around the opposite sex in a club or social environment without you being there. The truth of the matter is, trust is at the base of all relationships, domestic and distant. If you can’t bring yourself to trust the other person and to be secure with their feelings for you, then maybe you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship.

I hope I was able to supply you extreme daters with some useful ammo. The overseeing factor to all of these secrets is commitment. That is, commitment to the advice and commitment to the relationship. They works hand in hand. Love can take you far, but compromise, common goals, and commitment carry you through the long haul. – NATASHA KHAN

3 thoughts on “Making Long Distance Relationships Work

  1. Well I mean don’t give up on long distance things. Although it might not have run out, don’t let that living you aside from upcoming loves. It isnt fair to you or the girls who might become interested in you. If you can, think of what you have learned from the past relationships (other than “long distance relationships are hard”). I, myself, am in a long distance relationship at the moment. We are halfway across the world from one another. It’s hard, but so incredibly worth it. So, I know what I’m talking about.

  2. Most of the failures in distance relationship that I’ve found are brought by the hold and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was made by the insecurity of the couple as they do not conceive that the distance relationship will work but at the corresponding time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me assure you this, if you plan to have this kind of position, refrain from walking into one at the basic place because both you and your better half will hurt in the love and relationship. In a distance relationships, both partners must be devoted and proactive in adding the relationship to a higher level.

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