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How to be a Desi Party Promoter

All you want is to have an eventful night out with your friends, but as you approach the venue you see a ridiculously long line outside. Your first option is to get in line and hope that your buzz doesn’t die before you reach the front. Your second option, if you should choose to accept it, is to get to know the “elite” guy at the door, the party promoter.

Party promoters aren’t elite because they are guarding the door or because they are sitting in the VIP section; they are elite because they’ve figured out the system. This seemingly exclusive status is actually much easier to achieve than you imagine. I know because I’ve lived in their world for the last 4 years. Like a fly on the wall, I’ve observed their tricks. For your entertainment, here are the steps to becoming a desi party promoter:

Be hungry for power, recognition, and “easy” money. Imagine getting paid to party. Imagine the opposite sex throwing themselves at you to get into VIP. Imagine the entire bar being at your feet for one night. That is the life of a party promoter. If these things appeal to you, you might have the motivation to complete the rest of the steps.

Start creating a mailing list of your contacts. Many promoters are locals/townies who have been in the same area since high school or college, so have accumulated a large network of contacts. As a promoter, your network (or “pull”) is your most valuable asset. Also, having a network will make you look attractive to large promotion groups and nightlife venues.

Find a mentor. Most large promoters started out as entry level promoters for a larger promotion group, so network your way in. After your gain their trust, your mentor will teach you how to talk to venue managers, how to negotiate compensation, and how to use Facebook, email, and text to market your event. Most likely, your time and effort will not be fairly paid. In other words, you will get ripped off by the larger promotion group. Unfortunately, that is part of your training. In the future, you will also take advantage of the novice promoters.

Throw the party. Here is your moment of truth, the night of the party. The first rule of drug dealing is don’t do the drugs. Your job is to treat everyone you know at the party like gold, not have the time of your life. Attendees know it’s your party, so make sure you give them their 5 minutes of attention and make them look good in front of their crew. It’s also crucial to make sure they have a great time, that means making sure they all drink. If they are not drinking, ask them why and/or offer them one of your free promoter drinks to open the flood gates. Drinkers equal happy partiers and more money for the bar.

Girls, girls, girls. After your list of contacts, the second biggest asset a promoter can have is a posse of attractive and/or slutty girls that regularly come to their events. Also, girls are eager to help with promotion free of compensation. Girls seem to forget all about business and give promoters free promotion labor for a seat at the VIP table.

Leave the nest. Once you’ve learned everything you can from the larger promotion group, establish a few partners and break off into your own group. Don’t be timid about the larger promotion group blacklisting you or harassing you, at that point they have ripped you off so many times, that they know its coming. You have everything in your bag of tricks to throw your own parties.

Toss your morals out the window. Once the money rolls in, you’ll be much more protective of your territory (kind of like a crack dealer) so get ready to threaten your competition, sabotage them, and even get violent.

Build your empire. Keep throwing parties and in one year you’ll have your “crowd”. Every promotion group has a crowd that they attract, people that prefer their DJs, their scene, and/or feel like the promoters will take care of them. Regardless of what your crowd is, make sure you put the above average white girls that come to your event on the promotional materials, or a Bollywood actress. Yet, no empire is complete without people to do your bidding. It’s time for you and your partners to recruit people for your “promotion team.” Most often they will be young horny 18-21 year old boys, that are just discovering the world of nightlife. If you propaganda them the right way, you will get their allegiance and form a small gang, we mean promotion team.

Congratulations, you’ve completed the 8 steps to desi party promotion. The alternative is focusing your energy on your career and making enough money to buy entry into the VIP area.   Basically, turning the tables on the promoter, no pun intended.

— SAMMY K.

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