Letâ€™s admit it, we all date men that we know we shouldnâ€™t. They are the stereotypical, desi men that our friends warn us about. The truth is that most men fall in to one of these six categories. So I guess we need to just pick our poison. Below I have compiled a list of the six most dangerous men to watch out for. After reading their pros and cons you can decide which one is deadliest for you.
1. Party Promoter
Likes: lots of hair gel, bad hip-hop DJ’s and handing out flyers
Dislikes: other party bouncers, girls who wear too many clothes
Dream date: taking five girls home from one of their parties and watching them xerox flyers in their undies
His real job: to know every hott (or scantily clad) woman in the city and do anything he can to get them to his events.
So the real question is, what is it about these guys that we find so appealing? So what if they are sexy, sweet, popular, funâ€¦oh yeahâ€¦now I remember. Our real focus needs to be on the fact that they get paid to influence hott women to come to some random club half-naked and dance. It doesnâ€™t really get sleazier than that. And if you date one of these promoters, you learn quick-ly that they use their job as an excuse to get out of everything. Of course hot girls would need to call you at 4 A. M. to know which after hours to go toâ€¦.
2. The Jersey Thug
Wears: gold cains and FUBU
Dislikes: Polo shirts, and other men who don’t wear jewelry
Eats: mirchi chicken dishes and Paan
Listens to: Bhangra songs that he can’t understand
His real job: working in the back of an Indian restaurant making jalebis
We love these guys because they talk a good (but somewhat fobby) game. Every girl wants a hero, and these boys will fight anyone for our honor. They’re also a bit bulkier than the typical skinny, midget desis who try to get our numbers. Jersey thugs are also very Indian, which we love. These linguists are fluent in Hindi, Punjabi and Ebonics. They’ll have samosas and chai with you while you watch an old Amitabh flick. On a cold jersey night, what could be better? But with all these benefits, we forget that these guys can be extremely chauvinistic, violent, and in search of a stay-at-home-wife. YUCK! Donâ€™t let the Indian movie hero role fool you; these desis are NOT boyfriend material.
3. Mama’s boy
Likes: whispering on the phone to you from his parent’s last motel room
Dislikes: anything without curry
Wears: his mother’s shirt selections from K-mart
His real job: working at the family’s EXXON station
Dream date: sneaking out of his parents’ house to meet a girl who has just made him chapatis in her sari
Under no conditions can you marry a mamaâ€™s boy. These guys have no balls when it comes to standing up to their parents. Their mothers still dress them, feed them, and probably bathe them. We women often confuse these boys for being respectful to their parents. In reality, these men fear their mothers like they fear the black plague. They would rather have an arranged marriage with an obese FOB than feel the wrath of their mama. And if you think that this will end after you get married, think again. Their mothers are moving inâ€¦and probably will still rule your marriage in the after life.
4. Big Spender
Likes: fast cars, shiny watches and tight Armani shirts
Dislikes: girls who like beer
Eats: at places I can’t pronounce
Wants: to fly you around the world and dress you in the crown jewels
These men are happy to shine their 60,000 dollar car to drive you around in as they wine and dine you in the finest restaurants. This is all well and good, but your real question should be â€¦what are these men trying to compensate for? If you honestly believe that these men are dropping thousands of dollars on you because you are that wonderful, then you may need a bit of a reality check. Either they are lacking down under, or com-pensating for a serious personality flaw. Make sure that their money doesnâ€™t hide their flaws for too long, or you may find yourself attached to a man that is lacking in a few important departments.
5. Mr. Traditional
Likes: patriotic songs and subservient women
Dislikes: women with spunk
Dream date: taking a respectable girl to national monuments in South Asia
Eats: Daal and rotis every day
These men are fun train stoppers. They are the guys that people can only describe as nice. We become attracted to their moral and ethical ways. Their Gandhian nature is sometimes refreshing after several dates with players (refer to no. 6). They come in both FOB and ABCD forms. The truth is that they have no spice to them, and you will be forced to be a part of their monotonous life. Worse then being boring, these guys are very traditional. So much so that we are never good enough for them. We are never desi enough, righteous enough, or pure enough. For the women of today, we need to let these men know that they are not exciting enough for us.
Likes: you and the greater female desi population
Dislikes: the words: relationship, girlfriend, engagement, love
Eats: a lot of fish
Dream date: involves many women who only want him for his body
We love these playboys because they are fun and usually hott. They are the guys that we think every other girl wants but only we can get. The fact is that every other girl has probably already had him at one point or another. We overlook their true personality traits of being a jackass, because we are too caught up on getting these guys whipped. When these men tell you they donâ€™t want a relationship, they mean it. They are the most dangerous because by the time you realized that you have feelings, its too lateâ€¦heâ€™s probably moved on to his next prey. These men are not to be messed with. – KAMA PANDIT